Too Many Matches
by The hobgoblin
Summary: There have been too many matches in Escaflowne.
1. Hitome

Note for all the thickos (no offence!): The name the beginning of each section is the person telling the story  
  
Hit-o-me  
I'm so cosy in bed. It's a horrible, rainy night outside. Storm clouds are hanging over now dark fields like giant black farts. They are throwing lightening at the poor, innocent trees. Their handsome, puke- green leaves will soon be turned to ashes. If these beautiful trees die then I shall have to die too. Life is not worth living without trees.  
But I am lovely and warm – and no – it is not because I have a lovely warm eiderdown, it is in fact because I have rolls of fat on my body to keep me warm. When it's summertime, I get too hot, so I must get rid of the fat. But I do not diet. I cut it off with plastic Early Learning Centre scissors. They're quite pretty actually – bright red with ELC written on them. OOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGHHH so PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Just as I was about to go off to sleep, I heard a BANG! The door smashed open and there was a girl who looked identical to me. She must be a spirit. But OH NO! I was wrong. "I am your evil clone, punch-o-me." "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OH NO! This is the Dragon Slayers doing!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "HEE HO HA!" said Punch-o-me. 


	2. Van

Hit-o-me phoned me and told me what happened last night. Her evil clone Punch-o-me came to see her. And then she punch-oed-her. It hurt. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!  
  
Suddenly I heard a bang. The door smashed open. There in front of me was a boy that looked identical to me. He must be a spirit. But oh no. I was wrong. "I am your evil clone, Lorry." "OH NO! This is the dragon slayers doing."  
  
"HEE HO HA!!" SAID LORRY. 


	3. Dragon slayers meet their fun

The Dragon Slayers were in hysterics. They could not stop laughing. They had been watching Van, Lorry, Hit-o-me and Punch-o-me through a crystal ball. They thought it was hilarious that Hit-o-me and Van thought it was the Dragon Slayers that had created and sent along the clones. Of course this was not true.

"Hee ho ha!" they chorused.

All of a sudden, the laughter stopped. There had been a BANG! The door had been smashed down. Lord Folken's face went white and patched with poo green (that colour in Designers Guild called Arsenick!). He saw an exact copy of him in the doorway.

"Oh no! I know who you are! You are my nice clone, Lord Seagull!!!!!!!!!" (Lord Folken was not a dunce like Hit-o-me and Van were because he is a funky groover-he ho ha I mean he is clever).

All of a sudden there was a BANG. (Don't worry it isn't a clone). As Folken leaped at seagull and strangled him.

"Caw Caw!" cried lord seagull as he died a peaceful death in his sleep. NOT everyone who has ever been strangled by Folken should know about it.

But there was soon a distraction Lord Dilando had set his tail on fire. (He had grown a tail because Guimel had tried to pin the tail on the donkey when Dilando walked passed and had not told Dilando he was walking around with a tail on his bum because he would get killed). (Especially as he didn't do the washing up).

Viole shouted, "he's been playing with matches again. We shall have to smack his botty because he is a naughty boy". (Viole would not normally say this except he had found some treasure-27 bottles of whiskey and now there is none left)

Luckily Hit-o-me had left her full potty at the dragon slayers hideout. This worked (for that time only) for a fire extinguisher.

All of a sudden there was a BANG. Little Miss Eggpot and Snoz-cumber (lozzie) had smashed a window and were at Lord Dilando's wine supply. Dilando was furious. He tried to set fire to them but they said:

"I would not do that if I was you coz I we can make a nice little clone for you.

This silenced Dilando but the other dragon slayers all shouted "so it was you"

Miss Eggpot and Snoz-cumber said:

We can see you have had too many matches,

Both clone matches and fire matches are just too much 4 u.

Then they left.

Little did the dragon slayers know that they had taken every drop of alcohol with them. HE HO HA.

Review this and lots of chocolate shall be eaten (by me) and you (ha ha)


End file.
